I'm In Love

So I met someone.

Truth to tell, I met her a while ago. About 4 months ago to be specific. Even now it doesn't feel like that much time has passed. It's kind of interesting. For me, I don't really work on a Monday through Friday schedule, so after a while the days just blur together, and so 2 weeks can feel like 2 months. With Moriah, I feel like we've been talking for almost a year. Is that weird?

If I'm being honest with myself, while I my views don't really align with traditional christian ideas, which is to say God, Jesus, Heaven and all that, a part of me thinks Moriah is God's way of telling me he's real, especially when I look back at how I was ready to give up.

When it comes to love, I fall and love hard. Some will call it a weakness, others a strength, but I don't much care either way, I just know that it's how I am. I'd like to think I inherit that part of my personality from my mom, at least before the world had turned her bitter to romance. I had recently come out of a relationship of sorts that ended less than glamorously, and for reasons that I can't fully explain, I thought it a good idea to pour my feelings out to the internet. Maybe it was because I needed an emotional outlet, maybe I felt my fans would have some words of encouragement, I dunno. But regardless of the reason, Moriah sent me a video more or less telling me to keep my head up and that I was too great of a guy to give up on love. Normally I don't respond to fans through emaail unless it's something of particular importance. This is due to the fact that I've had fans take that as an invitation to spam me their deepest thoughts and desires, which is a little more than I'm able to deal with on a regular basis, but because of the nature of her video, I responded by thanking her. She responded back with her phone number and I hit her up shortly after. To hear Moriah tell it, she almost crashed into a person and had to pull over to grab a beer and regain her bearings with a friend. After that she and I started talking more regularly and here we are.

Truthfully, I was never really in the market to look for a new relationship after the way my previous relationship ended, but there was and still is an ease at which I can talk to her. It took a bit of time to have a genuine conversation, mostly because I was hesitant to call a fan and she was likely shocked by the notion of receiving a phone call from a youtuber she had spent to much time watching. Once conversations started to flow and she began to open up though, I realized she had incredible depth and kindness, certainly more than I had ecpected at the outset. I mean, it's one thing to have someone send you some words of encouragement, it's another to end a 4 hour conversation wishing it could continue for a lifetime. She came to visit me in Denver at the beginning of December and it was everything I imagined. As Jim Hawkins from Treasure Island once said: "I won't go into the trip in detail", but I will say that once it was done and I had to watch her leave for her flight, I wanted nothing more than to run up to her and beg her to stay behind in Denver. To leave the world she knew and become a part of mine. A week later I flew out to Ohio to see her and since then, we've met up when and where we can.

For the person reading this, whoever you may be, would you believe me if I told you that while we only became official about a month and half ago, that I would ask her to marry me right now if I thought she would say yes? Of course, I know what you would say to this. You'd tell me this is still the honeymoon phase, and I'm still swept up or something to that effect, but I'm not brand new. I've been around the block more than a few times and in my 34 years in this planet, I've never felt like this before. With Moriah, it's like discovering a part of myself that has always been missing, like finally finding the other half of the puzzle of Rob Jefferson. She challenges me in a variety of ways, she's highly independent which is a trait I find to be extremely sexy, she's more beautiful than you could well imagine, but more so than any of that, she and I share an astonishingly high number of similarities. Kissing her is like an addiction for me, not so much a sexual addiction so much as an addiction to how she makes me feel. I feel better when I'm around her, and I know we can make each other better people.

So here we are at the beginning of January and she's moving out here at the end of the month. I'm more excited than I've ever been in my life, especially when I think about the life she and I can build together. So i guess now it's on me to be the best man I can be. To show her how much she means to me everyday. To remind her how beautiful she is, how smart she is, and how she makes my life better just by being a part of it. I will definitely ask her to marry her one day and I'm actually counting down the days until I do.